Gag

There are some things that people should never see. I see many of these things in the library. I do not get paid enough for the brain scarring that I get from the things I see. Today. A scruffy middle aged dude walks quickly past the reference desk moaning and gagging. He pulls something out of his mouth, moans and gags some more, and then puts the thing back into his mouth. I don't know what it was and I don't want to know. It was brown.

Now I am going to goudge my eyes out and disinfect my entire existence.

Bilbys in a Hat

But I'm a Librarian!!!!!

Recently I met a fellow at a local bistro while treating myself to a yummy dinner. We exchanged info and friended on Facebook. Made a few attempts to get together but it didn't work out. Until the other night when he asked if I wanted to go to the bistro again on Friday. I was all stoked for good food, a nice guy, a chance to have a normal (what I thought was a) "date".

So it seemed we had a pretty nice time. When the bill came I thought I should chip in... was it a date or not? And if it was a date should I expect him to foot the bill? No. In fact he seemed pretty intent on figuring out how to split the tab. Being in the last stretch of my available cash till payday, I paid for my share of food and wine, which was about 40 bucks roughly. The total tab with tip came to $120. Not exactly sure how or why it was so much. I think he was drinking the good stuff and I was just drinking the house chard.

Whatever. I should have just split it with him and left it at that. At parting, I gave him a hug and told him next time I'd repay him. Seemed relatively okay with me.

As a follow up the next day I sent a friendly message on facebook with a little joke about how I semi-stiffied him. Yes I said STIFFIED. A little sexual innuendo. Funny? Apparently not. He replied that yes, he did feel stiffed and shouldn't have been left with 75% of the bill and remind him next time to go dutch. OUCH.

I don't think there will be a next time. I'm all for equality and equity and blah blah blah. Just because I'm a part time librarian and he is a full time worker in a well paid position doesn't mean I should assume he would take the brunt of the bill. But was his response to my message warranted? Couldn't he just have said "Yep, next time you pick up the tip"....... or something a little less irritating? I guess the dude don't do fat chicks after all. Not even if I am a LIBRARIAN!!!! I thought my near sainthood status was good for a few drinks at least! Wrong again crazy library lady. Wrong again......

Music. Live. And I'm a LIBRARIAN!!!!!

I'm really not all that into going to shows, especially large venue shows. I have a little anxiety about being in crowds. I can count the live music I've seen in the last decade on one or two hands. Of course, I've been to many of the ex's Red Dress shows but I don't count those really as it was rather expected of me to go. But the rest? I figure they had to be pretty dang special to get me out of my cave and into a venue to watch.

1. Haley Bonar. Saw her twice at the Tractor. She is golden. An Angel. Find her and listen to her. "Little Maiden Gin".... it will make you cry it is so lovely and sad! Can't find a good link to that song to post here but take my word for it. All her stuff is great. And I bought the t-shirt. And chatted with her so she remembered me as "the crazy librarian from Seattle" on her second tour. I usually bill myself this way because we all know librarians are like nuns, or buddhas or something.

2. Shearwater. At Neumos. During a horrible breakup with a horrible guy. After falling down basement stairs in my sleep (thinking I was going into the bathroom- NOT). My friend Rachel subbed in for the horrible boyfriend who was supposed to go with me. I literally almost broke my neck on the stairs but was determined to see this band. Bought the t-shirt, chatted up the lead singer. This venue was too large and loud for such an ethereal band. I found myself shushing the crowd and trying to muscle my way to the front using the excuse that I was a librarian with a broken neck. Crowd pissed me off but the music.... the music!!! Dreamy, trippy stuff. The lead guy is an ornithologist/musical genius and the band is a bunch of buddhas in my opinion.

3. Joe Pernice (of The Pernice Brothers). This was a book release/music deal at The Tractor. Pernice, while having a wonderful musical style and voice, turned out to be a bit of an ass. He read from his book (so-so) and played a bunch of covers. I didn't get it. When I requested ONE real Pernice Bros. song, he dismissed me as an idiot. Fuck you Joe. My friend Kara accompanied me and she wasn't familiar with this guy or The Pernice brothers. I give her kudos for finding it at least a little interesting. Did not buy a t-shirt or a book. But I did tell the dude selling the book I was a librarian and therefore, do not buy books. Points for me.

4. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. This was a lunchtime show for KEXP supporters at The Triple Door. Went with the horrible boyfriend and felt decadent for drinking Prosecco in the middle of the day. Don't remember the music. It was more about being out midday watching a band and drinking Prosecco with a hot boy.

5. Man Rockwell at The Rendevous. Norm, the lead singer, is a former child who my friend Tessa used to babysit. They're good! I couldn't get in the door because my ID wasn't current (I was 51 people!!! I look way over 21 ok???) so the band and Tessa had to sneak me in the backstage door, adding a little extra excitement to the night. And I got to play some original tunes for Norm, et al on his guitar in the dressing room. Me, me, me!!! So special!

6. Radioshark at Skylark. This was random. I bid on the Strangermart annual fundraiser to be the honorary Mayor of West Seattle. I had originally started out trying to bid for Karaoke with Blake Lewis but couldn't keep up with the bidding... So I took Mayor of West Seattle. Prizes included free mac n' cheese for a year at West 5, two tickets to Arts West, a private party at Mission and a night to book 3 bands of my choice at Skylark. I wanted Curious Mystery (see below) , Man Rockwell and didn't know who else. CM couldn't make it so I was left with just Man Rockwell. The owner booked two other bands for me. Never heard of Radioshark before and don't remember much about them except they let me onstage to perform an original tune I wrote long ago. A fairly simple chord progression so they kept up beautifully. I was a star! For 5 minutes! It was only the second time I had ever performed in public so I was pretty stoked. I have the picture on my facebook to prove it. Dude from Radioshark looks just like Springsteen in the shot so it's double cool.

7. The Curious Mystery at The Crocodile and The Sunset. I followed them around for a while because I was in love with the drummer, Faustine B. Hudson. She is amazing. And now she plays occasionally with The Young Evils who I have never really seen live, but I have seen Troy in his Black Daisy incarnation. Faustine creates some very out there stuff with her percussion. Amazing. And I told her I was a librarian so she always remembers the crazy middle aged librarian who used to stalk her.

8. Part Man Part Horse at Easy Street. These guys suck. The best part of watching them is the lead singer always strips down to his tiny underwear and is all over the stage and all over the audience and he has a nice bod. That's all.

9. Noddy at the Seattle Center Mural theater. A friend and co-librarian, Jared is the lead singer of this sorta screamo band. I can't say it's really my type of music (sorry Jared) but Jared does throw himself into it full force and he's quite talented. My daughter went with me and thought he was "totally hot".... alas he is also gay, dear daughter, but yes.. HOT!!!

10. Gym Class Heroes at Bumbershoot. Oh boy. This one was for the daughter when she would still be seen with me in public. In the giant stadium at Seattle Center. Too many people! Too many teens! Too much noise! I liked this band but not the setting. And nobody was told about my librarianship. Nobody woulda cared. I was not into talking to anyone but my kid anyways. It wasn't that kind of event.

11.Natalie Portman's Shaved Head at the Seattle Center Mural theater. These kids come from The Center School where my daughter now goes to school. They're all grown up now but the connection to Center was a nice touch for the daughter. Not sure why we went to see them. Free KEXP show was something to do that day. Some other rappers opened up the show. Elyse was starting to distance herself from me by then so I had to sit alone on the grass while she sat several feet away from me, not wanting to be seen at a rad show with her godawful MOTHER. These guys were good! Very energetic, cute and unique music. The crowd was crazy for them. They've changed their name now to something stupid. No t-shirts. Elyse got some free posters. I had the name of this band totally wrong in this post previously. It was the drugs.

So that's about it for my forays into the music scene in the Seattle that has such a great music scene. I don't know why I was thinking about posting all of this drivel, just thinking about it the other day because I had a desire to go see New Politics at Neumos next month but then thought better about it since reviews have stated the lead singer often leaves the stage bloodied from his amazing frenetic breakdancing during the show. They're from Copenhagen! I saw them on Kimmel and was blown away but this librarian ain't crazy enough to throw herself into that kind of scene. My neck might get broke for sure.

Watching the Bachelor with Rosie

I am having fun taking the dumb things they say and inserting "Rosie" in for everytime the girls refer to "Brad" or vice versa. I call my show The Bitchelor. Rosie and I are on this "amazing journey" and I'm so excited to be on this "amazing journey" with Rosie. It's true that in the past i have "put up walls" but Rosie is worth letting those walls come down. Rosie, will you accept this rose and not eat it, cause it might make you sick k? Rosie, you are named Rosie, like the Rose. I think that make you a winner!!

Wow

One post in 2007 and two in 2008. That there's some major blogging I got going on. My other blog over at wordpress got shut down because it was causing major depression in the western hemisphere and parts of China. It was just depressing. Now I read coworkers' blogs and they are all chirpy and cheerful and funny and I wonder: why not me? I can do that. So nothing but fun stuff here, buddy. Nosiree I will not blog about my depressing social life, my drastically catastrophic economic situation, my walrus size ass, my cold damp apartment with its black mold, my daughter's adolescent ragings or that guy. The one who I blogged to death over at wordpress. He's gone. Yay! In fact, I have no men problems at all. I have no man. And I am happy with that.

What I will blog about is stuff like my dogs, my job, my friends, my family, my cat and any other good stuff I can come up with. Probably an occasional rant will surface but hey.... that's just unavoidable.

Una Poema Vegetariana

I was with him, the one, and a group of people at an outside bar. I hadn't had alcohol in a while but had one cosmopolitan. We were on our way to see Ted Kennedy speak. I wasn't sure I wanted to go because I knew it would be crowded and I would have to use the bathroom and it would be a hassle and that one drink had really hit me hard. But Caroline M. was going with us too so I put my shoes on with some effort and followed them up the hill. The next thing I know I woke up in bed with him and he said "you don't remember what happened do you?" I insisted only having one drink and no, I didn't remember what happened. But I asked if Caroline was the girl who had given him the infection. He wouldn't answer. I said "You have always lied to me." And I left. I was leaving forever. Because nothing is worse than a person who pretends to be honest by telling half of the truth.

I left and walked to a beach but my legs gave out, as always, and I could not get up. An old Mexican man came to try to help me but he was too old and his legs could not hold him up either. Finally, we managed to get up and walked along a dirty shore, in dirty water back to the street I had come from. The old man turned into a sweet young girl who had on a dirty dress so I offered to buy her a new one, speaking my broken Spanish with her. We were in a boutique, rather too expensive for me, but I didn't care since she had been so kind to me. Another Latino young man came up and asked if I would listen to a vegetarian poem he had written. I was hesitant and trying to find appropriate "ropa" for la chica, but relented. Every time he'd start, I'd have to interrupt to help the little girl with the dresses. Finally I was back on the shore repeating the poem he had recited for me. I cannot remember it now. It had something to do with spending years wandering and waiting and looking for something. Something that was never there. Something I had to cease looking for. I was alone on a polluted shore under a beautiful gasoline streaked sky.