The Head and The Heart

This week is brought to you by Head Staples. Yep. After venturing out past midnight to walk the dog the other night, as I was walking back up our dimly lit, precariously placed front stairs I lost my balance and fell sideways into the rockery, smashing my head on a large and viciously sharp rock. The amount of blood gushing was unbelievable. After waking the ex and asking "does this look bad?" we decided perhaps a trip to the ER was in order. Thank god for Swedish Medical Center. The best ER I have ever been to. And we've been there a few times over the years. As soon as we walked in the door I was put in a wheelchair and whisked away to an examining room. No gory details but I'll say a lot of shots were injected into the old cranium, a lot of crying and wailing was done by me, and 15 staples closed up the gash. What fun.

The rest of the week has been a nonstop headache, body ache and general need for sleep 24 hours a day. I went to work today for 5 hours but that was about all I could take. It wasn't pretty. I was cornered by a crazy German lady at the computer who couldn't figure out the difference between Comcast, Yahoo and facebook, but was convinced that they were all acting in concert to ruin her life and steal her patents. I actually yelled at her at one point because she was not making sense. At all. Another staff member was trying to encourage her to take the upcoming Internet Basics class at the library down the street. Uh, no please. I am teaching that class! No. I informed the lady that she needed a private tutor. A basic internet class was not going to explain all of her questions. It was pathetic. I was finally dragged away by the assistant manager and told to go home. Other patrons were looking at me asking me just how sick was I today???

Tonight I will put the girl on a nonstop flight to Charlotte NC. On the red eye, no less. Leaving here at 10 pm and arriving there at 6 am. This is the girl who is so full of venom and defiance on most days, but who is now clinging to me begging me not to make her go on this trip alone. She'll be with my sisters, my nieces and my mom. She will be well cared for by really good people. But she doesn't really know any of them except for my mom. It's been years since she's seen them. My warrior girl is now begging "mommy" to please go with her. It kinda breaks my heart. I cry just thinking about putting her on that plane. But I know she will be fine. It will be awkward for her. It will be painful at times for her shy self. But above all I hope it will be a good experience for her. That she will discover some inner strength and learn to be with people who really do love her even if she doesn't believe these mere "strangers" could love her at all. And that she will feel good about doing this trip for my mom's sake. Mom is almost 89 and this could possibly be the last time E. gets to spend quality time with her. Still, I know I will cry when she walks down the ramp to the plane. It's her first solo flight. It feels like the first day of kindergarten times a gazillion. I hope we will all learn how much we appreciate each other by the time she gets back.

Now go baby bird.... fly! And then fly back to me! I'll be here waiting. Always.